Can we still mediate if we argue?

Those emotions and any resultant conflict do not prevent couples from participating in mediation. Mediators are trained to work with separating couples to help them reach an agreement and settle any disputes, which includes managing the impact of clients’ emotions on discussions.

If one person is particularly distressed, particularly if a separation is very recent, it may be that it is appropriate to pause or delay mediation to allow each client to begin to process their emotions. Mediation is a process to support separating couples to reach their own decisions, but it is unlikely to be successful if one party is very upset and cannot meaningfully participate.

Frustration and feelings of betrayal can result in tense or angry conversations at mediation. As mediators, we are trained to manage conversations to try and defuse tension or conflict. Sometimes, the mere presence of a mediator encourages clients to modify their behaviour to be cordial and respectful to each other during the sessions to enable meaningful discussions. In other circumstances, it might be helpful to let clients air their grievances with the other in carefully managed circumstances at an early stage in the process. This enables parties to get their feelings ‘off their chest’ and then enable the conversation to move forward. Thereafter, it can be possible to work constructively and identify alternative options to consider together.

Mediators will never allow mediation sessions to be used as an opportunity for one client to berate the other, to abuse the other or to extend any abuse that has previously been perpetrated.

Blake Morgan’s specialist family mediators can assist separating families to reach agreements on all matters arising from their separation. We work proactively and constructively with families, exploring options and considering practical solutions to try to enable families to move forward without acrimony or distress.