Navigating Christmas as a separated parent

As an experienced Family Law solicitors we fully appreciate the challenges that separated parents can face. When considering how children should divide their time, Family lawyers are guided by the Court and children’s arrangements are determined by what is in their “best interests”. In the absence of safeguarding concerns, it is expected that children will spend time with both parents in their day to day arrangements and that they will enjoy holiday time and special occasions with both parents.

Where it is possible for parents to agree amongst themselves, the Courts do not need to ratify agreements for the children’s arrangements thanks to the ‘No Order’ principle. There should be clear, defined arrangements for term time, holidays and special occasions in most situations. It is commonly the case that Christmases will alternate between parents so that one might celebrate with the children on Christmas Day one year and then on Boxing Day the next, so that children can enjoy the day with both parents as they grow up.

Sometimes parents choose to divide the day itself, although this is less commonly ordered. This has the benefit of children seeing both parents on the day itself but also have the practical challenges of a higher degree of interaction with an ex-partner at an emotionally charged time, potentially encountering their wider family and having the practical challenges of more time keeping during the day than would normally be required.

In circumstances where a shared day might risk a parent being tempted to drive over the legal limit or mean that the children might spend a disproportionate amount of time travelling between households this might not be a palatable arrangement. However this can work well for parents on friendly terms, living close to one another.

A FaceTime call with the parent who is not spending time with the children is not legally necessary (unless this is a term of a specific court order) but this would very likely be well-received. In all likelihood this will encourage the parent receiving the call to the allow the other parent the same courtesy for future Christmases.

The children’s best interests

The guiding principle of what is in the children’s best interests should be at the heart of their arrangements, whether this is specifically for Christmas or for their wider arrangements.

It is important to have a clear, defined plan in place for how the children will spend their Christmas and wider Christmas holiday. Communicate calmly and clearly when discussing this and have the discussions in good time so that time pressures do not cause tempers to fray. If it is not possible to agree, consider having discussions with the help of a mediator. Taking solicitor advice is also highly recommended. There is a common misconception that this might escalate matters but instead this will provide clear, specific insight into what is fair and appropriate in the circumstances alongside advice on avoiding future obstacles or misunderstanding.