Confused by Child Inclusive Mediation?

…You are not alone.

Part of the problem could be in the name Child Inclusive Mediation. Generally speaking, the children are not included in the mediation sessions with their parents but are included in the mediation process.

They are seen in separate meetings to which everyone has to consent, including the child.

It is also confusing in that Child Inclusive Mediation is often referred to as replacing Direct Child Consultation. This suggests that the child is being consulted on something – generally an issue that the parents are grappling with and are finding it difficult to resolve in mediation. However, it is very much the case that Child Inclusive Mediation (CIM) works best when it is not used to help with a specific issue.

If during an all issues mediation, or within discussions for a parenting plan, it is thought that it would be helpful to the children to be asked how they are doing then there is a pre-CIM meeting with the parents to prepare them for the children being seen, everyone signs the Consent (including the children) and then they are written to, telling them what to expect.

The main message is that everything is private and confidential (with safeguarding exceptions) unless the child agrees that they will provide feedback. The feedback is agreed precisely with them and then is read to the parents in the post CIM meeting.

No written record is provided for the parents and no report can be prepared for solicitors or the courts. The feedback is oral only and is designed to assist the parents in their decision making as parents but also to improve family relationships and the outcome for the child. Research shows that just being asked how they are doing, improves wellbeing outcomes for children. Hopefully, the more courts, solicitors, parents and children experience Child Inclusive Mediation the more well-known its advantages and ambit will become.